i think about..
how.. my, my eyes are dry.
4:53
an absurd time to be just resting my head
(if you don't count your shoulder)
a tennis match? hah!
twas but a twilight introduction.
a test of the old knee
a challenge-
who can hit the most
balls over the fence
on accident
and i hugged you when you were sweaty.
i didnt care.
i think about my new jobs
and the new moon
that keeps coming
round
again
Monday, September 5, 2011
Hum Hum Poem
your kisses
fill me up
your smile
is an echo
i sent
them out
so long ago
so long
your kisses fill
me up
fill me up
your smile
is an echo
i sent
them out
so long ago
so long
your kisses fill
me up
Late Summer
I like this bush.
i didn't notice, it blooms
at the end of summer
when the winds are changing
and bringing cold
when the leaves are holding their notes
trying not to run out of breath
when the grass is struggling
just like me
to soak up the sun
without drying out.
the ivy blooms
clinging to the side of the screened porch
with tiny white blossoms
each bud a little bride
each petal, white as a sheet
twinkling in the mist like new stars.
just when things seem to be closing down
it opens up
i didn't notice, it blooms
at the end of summer
when the winds are changing
and bringing cold
when the leaves are holding their notes
trying not to run out of breath
when the grass is struggling
just like me
to soak up the sun
without drying out.
the ivy blooms
clinging to the side of the screened porch
with tiny white blossoms
each bud a little bride
each petal, white as a sheet
twinkling in the mist like new stars.
just when things seem to be closing down
it opens up
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Some People
some people
December 30 2006 at 10:56 PM sespysays
some people
only have their hearts broken once
and that seems
to be
enough
they move on
clicking like trains and moving
softly
like old hands of a clock
whispering like leaves
not waiting for an answer
the seasons are never more lonely
than the ones before
they just put the christmas boxes
back
in the closet
and nothing lights up again
for another year
some people read the paper every day
but probably forget
a lot of it
December 30 2006 at 10:56 PM sespysays
some people
only have their hearts broken once
and that seems
to be
enough
they move on
clicking like trains and moving
softly
like old hands of a clock
whispering like leaves
not waiting for an answer
the seasons are never more lonely
than the ones before
they just put the christmas boxes
back
in the closet
and nothing lights up again
for another year
some people read the paper every day
but probably forget
a lot of it
I Couldn't Imagine
i couldnt imagine
February 1 2007 at 12:52 AM the sesp is back
my breath turns blue
around your sunset jello
the mountain is without
a bow tie
squawking flowers
bump with frost
i am sweaty inside my coat
morning comes
steady like the power lines
alive, the night brings me
through
as if holding my hands
and i were more than 21
walking down the steps
gingerly
now- its cloudy / 27
and we have no heat
getting high and laughing
coloring with markers
and words. .
I'll Actually Sell My Ex Then This Time
ill actually sell my ex then this time
March 18 2007 at 7:13 PM sespy
take a bid
here he is
my exact same height
he'll wear anything ladies
eats mostly cheese
sometimes he will need a ride to hockey practice
good with kids
$ ?
March 18 2007 at 7:13 PM sespy
take a bid
here he is
my exact same height
he'll wear anything ladies
eats mostly cheese
sometimes he will need a ride to hockey practice
good with kids
$ ?
On The Guitar
on the guitar
April 2 2007 at 10:01 PM sespyb rock
nuns habit spin wash thrown away like a tissue
memory lapse rabbits pass and acorns fall on your grave
drums build your face and cymbals crash like the wave
that took you away
into the pink clouds the sounds of love resound
blue surrounds them like it does you i suppose
everyone knows but no one knows it
maybe i couldve showed just a little bit
beautiful moments wave like flags and our hair in the wind
quilting fingers cant stick any more parts in
a one eyed cat passes the paper and the sugar bowl
and i say thank you
April 2 2007 at 10:01 PM sespyb rock
nuns habit spin wash thrown away like a tissue
memory lapse rabbits pass and acorns fall on your grave
drums build your face and cymbals crash like the wave
that took you away
into the pink clouds the sounds of love resound
blue surrounds them like it does you i suppose
everyone knows but no one knows it
maybe i couldve showed just a little bit
beautiful moments wave like flags and our hair in the wind
quilting fingers cant stick any more parts in
a one eyed cat passes the paper and the sugar bowl
and i say thank you
Just
just
April 2 2007 at 9:49 PM sespysings
a spider crawls down the front of my windshield
black like those places ive been
and kissed
into the engine he goes
i drive past the campus streetlights
through the pollen and new buds
i havent begun to finish yet
another semester to leave me
with just my own hands
April 2 2007 at 9:49 PM sespysings
a spider crawls down the front of my windshield
black like those places ive been
and kissed
into the engine he goes
i drive past the campus streetlights
through the pollen and new buds
i havent begun to finish yet
another semester to leave me
with just my own hands
M Night
m night
April 2 2007 at 9:42 PM sespybuilds
wrapped in incense my kitchen
doesnt have much to say.
its pieces are floating
the dresser in my living room
bravely holds the light.
its corner shines
below me, the couch i got for free
says its ok to cry
but i know its lying
this carpet is fucking dirty.
its not my voice that sounds so pretty
inside the walls
i only make this small clicking with lettered keys
before bedtime
April 2 2007 at 9:42 PM sespybuilds
wrapped in incense my kitchen
doesnt have much to say.
its pieces are floating
the dresser in my living room
bravely holds the light.
its corner shines
below me, the couch i got for free
says its ok to cry
but i know its lying
this carpet is fucking dirty.
its not my voice that sounds so pretty
inside the walls
i only make this small clicking with lettered keys
before bedtime
Shitty Drum Tracks
shitty drum tracks
April 2 2007 at 9:37 PM the sespy
the masquerader skips
smelling smoky and selling
wine
by the sips
the cherry blossoms blow
down the street and farther
away
like you did
little things happen
like popups interrupting
when
im just trying to count the stars
April 2 2007 at 9:37 PM the sespy
the masquerader skips
smelling smoky and selling
wine
by the sips
the cherry blossoms blow
down the street and farther
away
like you did
little things happen
like popups interrupting
when
im just trying to count the stars
As I Sigh
as i sigh
May 7 2007 at 8:23 PM yes
letters from old lovers
circle round my ankles
like the ghost of an old cat
my leg shakes as the devil whispers
he puts his hand on my thigh
May 7 2007 at 8:23 PM yes
letters from old lovers
circle round my ankles
like the ghost of an old cat
my leg shakes as the devil whispers
he puts his hand on my thigh
PS
ps
May 7 2007 at 8:21 PM Anonymous
this is a nothing
this is a blathering on
this is my moments
stirring up like the good parts
of soup
this is my island
i am welcoming you on
May 7 2007 at 8:21 PM Anonymous
this is a nothing
this is a blathering on
this is my moments
stirring up like the good parts
of soup
this is my island
i am welcoming you on
Pieces of Aik
pieces of aik
May 7 2007 at 8:17 PM sesps
we sink in little pieces of orange
everything has a heartbeat
parts of me are just like parts of the room
yes
maybe they could be useful
the cold settles in but its fresh
the sounds of the night closer
the cars behind me were both
missing a headlight
like two wounded dogs at my heels
May 7 2007 at 8:17 PM sesps
we sink in little pieces of orange
everything has a heartbeat
parts of me are just like parts of the room
yes
maybe they could be useful
the cold settles in but its fresh
the sounds of the night closer
the cars behind me were both
missing a headlight
like two wounded dogs at my heels
Whisper Sing
whisper sing
May 19 2007 at 4:02 PM sespy
will we dance ?
and love as this song does
or will i only keep the lonely part
will we meet ?
as the whole city stops
while for a second i only know
one thing
or will i just be singing
next to the laundry
the world a song i write
your face only part of the chorus
i havent figured out yet
May 19 2007 at 4:02 PM sespy
will we dance ?
and love as this song does
or will i only keep the lonely part
will we meet ?
as the whole city stops
while for a second i only know
one thing
or will i just be singing
next to the laundry
the world a song i write
your face only part of the chorus
i havent figured out yet
Wants to Be Beautiful
wants to be beautiful
May 19 2007 at 3:55 PM sespy
its not you in the window
but the flowing shape of me
down by the river where she sings
i will try to fill my sails
all the words from boys fly
like paper airplanes in the middle of class
i raised my hand but no one saw
the end of that chapter was my favorite
be good at spelling
please
i will tell you everything i know
close up my mouth is like a universe
dont drive too fast
the strumming sounds like birds wings
and how my heart is beating
my hands feel cold at the ends
kitten on holiday running down the street
i grabbed a handful of the rose petals
and threw them in the sky
in the night as we were walking
( listening to yo la tengo cherry something )
May 19 2007 at 3:55 PM sespy
its not you in the window
but the flowing shape of me
down by the river where she sings
i will try to fill my sails
all the words from boys fly
like paper airplanes in the middle of class
i raised my hand but no one saw
the end of that chapter was my favorite
be good at spelling
please
i will tell you everything i know
close up my mouth is like a universe
dont drive too fast
the strumming sounds like birds wings
and how my heart is beating
my hands feel cold at the ends
kitten on holiday running down the street
i grabbed a handful of the rose petals
and threw them in the sky
in the night as we were walking
( listening to yo la tengo cherry something )
New Song
you work in a hospital
you wear scrubs
i bet you are cuddly
little blue bear
i bet you can fix things
can you see inside the crumbling?
it is not
my tummy rumbling
its my heart
and it aches, aches, aches
you wear scrubs
i bet you are cuddly
little blue bear
i bet you can fix things
can you see inside the crumbling?
it is not
my tummy rumbling
its my heart
and it aches, aches, aches
POEM YES WOOT WOW POP BANG FUN !
POEM YES WOOT WOW POP BANG FUN !
May 19 2007 at 9:26 AM sespy
waltzing ghost
you can be my shadow
we can play together in evening
before the bugs come out
i wont hear you chasing me
in the leaves
so you will mostly win
little ghost
like little toast
we can snack and i will hold your paper towel
on the front porch
perfect ghost
i wish your skin was here
i could kiss under your sweater
and make wishes on your eyes
my kitten may see you
she will sit and swish her tail
but i will not know if you leave or stay
i will still sing loudly in the kitchen
and reach for your hand after dinner
i will still tuck you in
next to me
May 19 2007 at 9:26 AM sespy
waltzing ghost
you can be my shadow
we can play together in evening
before the bugs come out
i wont hear you chasing me
in the leaves
so you will mostly win
little ghost
like little toast
we can snack and i will hold your paper towel
on the front porch
perfect ghost
i wish your skin was here
i could kiss under your sweater
and make wishes on your eyes
my kitten may see you
she will sit and swish her tail
but i will not know if you leave or stay
i will still sing loudly in the kitchen
and reach for your hand after dinner
i will still tuck you in
next to me
Second Page
second page
May 24 2007 at 11:47 PM sespdidliedee
of you i learned more but hardly
liked less
you pushed your leg onto mine
and i felt it
thought your eyes were very sparkly in the hallway
glad i wore that shirt
and in the light we were
good
but only for a moment, you know you want your
" fun "
plus what am i blathering on about at dinner ?
May 24 2007 at 11:47 PM sespdidliedee
of you i learned more but hardly
liked less
you pushed your leg onto mine
and i felt it
thought your eyes were very sparkly in the hallway
glad i wore that shirt
and in the light we were
good
but only for a moment, you know you want your
" fun "
plus what am i blathering on about at dinner ?
Untitled
Untitled
May 29 2007 at 11:23 PM sespy
i had blown
before then
like the grass
in the evening
changing colors
i hadnt seen
but there i lay then
with a power that wasnt
mine
to stop
or start
May 29 2007 at 11:23 PM sespy
i had blown
before then
like the grass
in the evening
changing colors
i hadnt seen
but there i lay then
with a power that wasnt
mine
to stop
or start
Poem From a Singer
poem from a singer
September 18 2007 at 2:32 Pm c.h.
my voice soothes me
and the others i join
cat scratch in the background
percussion
the kitchen calls with
crumbs i must define
clothes intertwine on the bed
like naughty sea creatures
i overthink love
and wait for your breath
September 18 2007 at 2:32 Pm c.h.
my voice soothes me
and the others i join
cat scratch in the background
percussion
the kitchen calls with
crumbs i must define
clothes intertwine on the bed
like naughty sea creatures
i overthink love
and wait for your breath
Show Me
show me
September 18 2007 at 2:42 PM
this is an old song
familiar
yet with a voice
id inspect
closer i see inside
how your heart
is in the middle
we didnt win the lottery
but we laughed
and i thought that was close enough
many a journey we took to arrive
tangling our hair in the wind
September 18 2007 at 2:42 PM
this is an old song
familiar
yet with a voice
id inspect
closer i see inside
how your heart
is in the middle
we didnt win the lottery
but we laughed
and i thought that was close enough
many a journey we took to arrive
tangling our hair in the wind
Songno
songno
September 18 2007 at 3:08 Pm sespy
and underneath a willow tree
the girl said look here see
and gave away her maidenhood
to a man that wanted there she
hololloalooya
the man said
hololhohloooya
the woman also said
beside the bed
and underneath the evening sun
the man said looka here see
and gave away his livliehoohd
to a woman to a woman he saw
and she said aw
hololohlooya
the cat said
and he ate a bug
and the bug said aw
aaloooohya
and in the end the singer said
im tired
and it seems i might've even been fired
gooooo od luck poor sop to get you one
singer thatll go this far to get song done
and he lay his piano down
it seems it was only 1/16 around
and started to tune his own brigade
as they marched to the arcade
and he came back with a camel jade !
so i think hell build the bridge for us
if you hold hands and dont cuss
and if you listen wisely
because hes sitting here
with me
September 18 2007 at 3:08 Pm sespy
and underneath a willow tree
the girl said look here see
and gave away her maidenhood
to a man that wanted there she
hololloalooya
the man said
hololhohloooya
the woman also said
beside the bed
and underneath the evening sun
the man said looka here see
and gave away his livliehoohd
to a woman to a woman he saw
and she said aw
hololohlooya
the cat said
and he ate a bug
and the bug said aw
aaloooohya
and in the end the singer said
im tired
and it seems i might've even been fired
gooooo od luck poor sop to get you one
singer thatll go this far to get song done
and he lay his piano down
it seems it was only 1/16 around
and started to tune his own brigade
as they marched to the arcade
and he came back with a camel jade !
so i think hell build the bridge for us
if you hold hands and dont cuss
and if you listen wisely
because hes sitting here
with me
Sitting on the Front Steps in Tennessee
sitting on the front steps in tennessee
September 30 2007 at 9:10 PM sespylove
the clouds look like
a wave
to wash the moon
out
like a stolen pearl
or the side of a face
golden moon eye
knowing all
seeing all
the stars just something
he sneezed
out
Nothing Inside
In the dark
and bright colors of my past
i sent you postcards
little notes and scenes
from my day
now you tug
and look at me with eyes
ive seen in dreams
pulling me up toward the sky
as i wander in singing fields
no one has any advice
( but my friend and i still purr and share sweet moments )
but nothing inside is keeping me back
and bright colors of my past
i sent you postcards
little notes and scenes
from my day
now you tug
and look at me with eyes
ive seen in dreams
pulling me up toward the sky
as i wander in singing fields
no one has any advice
( but my friend and i still purr and share sweet moments )
but nothing inside is keeping me back
Untitled
Untitled
September 2 2006 at 1:51 AM Anonymous
little cricket
you share your song
skipping past
other windows
theyre smitten with your glow
September 2 2006 at 1:51 AM Anonymous
little cricket
you share your song
skipping past
other windows
theyre smitten with your glow
Shake Spear
shake spear
September 2 2006 at 1:45 AM themuthafuckinses p
capulet
doesnt mean
little cap ?
bridge builder
to my window
forbidden to even your eyes
that shone round
even in the day ?
did i not know life ?
before this
because i had not ached
so
or is all this after now
never to touch truths lips since
i will forever be tasting yours ?
why ask
why doubt when i am thus
unsatisfied
to see through the weak spiderweb of man
that he builds
with his shadows
September 2 2006 at 1:45 AM themuthafuckinses p
capulet
doesnt mean
little cap ?
bridge builder
to my window
forbidden to even your eyes
that shone round
even in the day ?
did i not know life ?
before this
because i had not ached
so
or is all this after now
never to touch truths lips since
i will forever be tasting yours ?
why ask
why doubt when i am thus
unsatisfied
to see through the weak spiderweb of man
that he builds
with his shadows
A Capulet
a capulet
September 2 2006 at 1:39 AM will no longer be
anything but rose
she thought
anything
didnt want to be there
with your hopes
didnt want to be there
with my heart
to wither and crisp away
alike
anything but rose she
twisted
her hair
waiting for the whistle
another train
away
still rose
miles from where the sirens
called his name
miles from where the river lapped
his lips
miles from where he kept his heart
before she shot it to
the moon
must have looked great
in outer space
away from these crickets and
writers and
scams
bleeding into herself
with words
and nights
September 2 2006 at 1:39 AM will no longer be
anything but rose
she thought
anything
didnt want to be there
with your hopes
didnt want to be there
with my heart
to wither and crisp away
alike
anything but rose she
twisted
her hair
waiting for the whistle
another train
away
still rose
miles from where the sirens
called his name
miles from where the river lapped
his lips
miles from where he kept his heart
before she shot it to
the moon
must have looked great
in outer space
away from these crickets and
writers and
scams
bleeding into herself
with words
and nights
There Are Some Things.
there are some things.
September 2 2006 at 1:31 AM rose by any other name
there are some things
id like
to show you
some web cartoons
and my tin yki t een
she l
a
y
s where
you used to
September 2 2006 at 1:31 AM rose by any other name
there are some things
id like
to show you
some web cartoons
and my tin yki t een
she l
a
y
s where
you used to
Poem
poem
June 1 2006 at 5:19 PM ses.me
i bring you in. my o. and hold you sweaty. i tell you.
i am going to bed now. commercials assail. you follow.
i bring you in. my words. my nightly rambling. i seem
pushy. i am. wanting not to see you sitting in the
same place. for so long. have a show. of what your
beauty makes. wanting to seem silent inside while i
explode.
you bring me in. your dream. which seems vacant and
slow. a nice place to rest. i watch my pieces
swirling. things. sitting by the garbage that i used
to love.
4:15
June 1 2006 at 5:19 PM ses.me
i bring you in. my o. and hold you sweaty. i tell you.
i am going to bed now. commercials assail. you follow.
i bring you in. my words. my nightly rambling. i seem
pushy. i am. wanting not to see you sitting in the
same place. for so long. have a show. of what your
beauty makes. wanting to seem silent inside while i
explode.
you bring me in. your dream. which seems vacant and
slow. a nice place to rest. i watch my pieces
swirling. things. sitting by the garbage that i used
to love.
4:15
Your Hunger
i would pet your skin
count your freckles
shine
i would be the twinkle in your eye
i would be your hunger
good thing i can feed myself
count your freckles
shine
i would be the twinkle in your eye
i would be your hunger
good thing i can feed myself
Angry One
i am being very serious about these people. no sap.
June 1 2006 at 5:10 PM thisisthefuckingsesp
(you)
a fucking product of your timezone
fathers time schedule
that said
oh you are only halfway done with your growing
but. your mother
can take care of you now
a fucking ghost of highschool
counting on laughs
and interesting history lessons
which has taken me to now
fucking now
a bunch of bleeding fingers and blowing
hair
i feel like a peg
moved by responsibility
-fucking unmoved
traitor to the light i
do not give option to fight
only my first response
will count as tender
fucking heart that
wont beat
a compass off
lyingtowait
a young fiscal tragedy
hangingtowait
in a noose made of
daisies
June 1 2006 at 5:10 PM thisisthefuckingsesp
(you)
a fucking product of your timezone
fathers time schedule
that said
oh you are only halfway done with your growing
but. your mother
can take care of you now
a fucking ghost of highschool
counting on laughs
and interesting history lessons
which has taken me to now
fucking now
a bunch of bleeding fingers and blowing
hair
i feel like a peg
moved by responsibility
-fucking unmoved
traitor to the light i
do not give option to fight
only my first response
will count as tender
fucking heart that
wont beat
a compass off
lyingtowait
a young fiscal tragedy
hangingtowait
in a noose made of
daisies
Summer Night Poem
summer night poem
June 1 2006 at 5:02 PM sespy
the cat
sits
looking at
the roof
sloping down
to the grass
and bugs
( some lightning )
some trees
( goliath pine )
that big pile
of fireplace wood
will be waiting for
months
i sit
in front of
a small fan
the evening
rising up
as the sun takes its
heated slip
ready to alight
like an owl
waiting for the night
glowing saucers
enrapture me
through these words
i see
June 1 2006 at 5:02 PM sespy
the cat
sits
looking at
the roof
sloping down
to the grass
and bugs
( some lightning )
some trees
( goliath pine )
that big pile
of fireplace wood
will be waiting for
months
i sit
in front of
a small fan
the evening
rising up
as the sun takes its
heated slip
ready to alight
like an owl
waiting for the night
glowing saucers
enrapture me
through these words
i see
For Sylvie
for sylvie
May 29 2006 at 4:17 PM sespy
thats ancient sunshine
gathering on swallows
branches dance
above this house and its hollows
first performance ?
hiding past clouds ?
stars snicker
as we wonder outloud
wilting like a lettuce
mountains for dirt
new ones of trash
everything hurts
the sun sets late
in the summer eve
tv droning
im about to leave
the grass tries to hold me
sky pushes away
this motor of madness
is turning me gray
May 29 2006 at 4:17 PM sespy
thats ancient sunshine
gathering on swallows
branches dance
above this house and its hollows
first performance ?
hiding past clouds ?
stars snicker
as we wonder outloud
wilting like a lettuce
mountains for dirt
new ones of trash
everything hurts
the sun sets late
in the summer eve
tv droning
im about to leave
the grass tries to hold me
sky pushes away
this motor of madness
is turning me gray
Sketch- To See if There Was One More
sketch- to see if there was one more
May 29 2006 at 4:27 PM sespy
setting up. shiny briefcase. golden fastners click.
the table reflects long halogens. one of my hairs
falls out on the table.
after scooting my chair up to the table my phone
rings. i can hear it in my pocket. i hold my hand over
it. its almost warm. the briefcase sits next to my
foot. like a silent kitten.
there are 3 windows. i sit across from another chair.
the rest of the chairs are pulled away from the table.
there are muffins in the briefcase too. i should have
gotten those out.
the central air turns on and the room begins to hum. a
tiny motor stills me with cool air as i look out of
the window to my right. cars are slowing in the
afternoon traffic.
people are going to the atm. i feel peaceful. i
counted the stars last night. told you to count them
again afterwords.
May 29 2006 at 4:27 PM sespy
setting up. shiny briefcase. golden fastners click.
the table reflects long halogens. one of my hairs
falls out on the table.
after scooting my chair up to the table my phone
rings. i can hear it in my pocket. i hold my hand over
it. its almost warm. the briefcase sits next to my
foot. like a silent kitten.
there are 3 windows. i sit across from another chair.
the rest of the chairs are pulled away from the table.
there are muffins in the briefcase too. i should have
gotten those out.
the central air turns on and the room begins to hum. a
tiny motor stills me with cool air as i look out of
the window to my right. cars are slowing in the
afternoon traffic.
people are going to the atm. i feel peaceful. i
counted the stars last night. told you to count them
again afterwords.
Left to Break
if you want to whisper
i can try
but im used to singing or screaming
if you want to have a straight face
like a rail or a road
i will try
paparazzi poker face
wrinkles like parentheses
if you want to sit still
ill keep my wiggles at their minimum, best
best, because id like to hold your hand
best, because i would not like to make you sad
best, because there is so little
left to break
i can try
but im used to singing or screaming
if you want to have a straight face
like a rail or a road
i will try
paparazzi poker face
wrinkles like parentheses
if you want to sit still
ill keep my wiggles at their minimum, best
best, because id like to hold your hand
best, because i would not like to make you sad
best, because there is so little
left to break
Song of a Poem
song of a poem
May 11 2006 at 1:35 PM sespy
amen the preacher says as he closes his book
they close their books
reading is free at the library
where all the homeless go
like petals on the ground
like petals in the air
dandelions wishes have got caught in my hair
today
it rained for a minute but then
today
the sun came back
i cant wait till you call and i can
make you laugh
i hope i can always make u laugh
May 11 2006 at 1:35 PM sespy
amen the preacher says as he closes his book
they close their books
reading is free at the library
where all the homeless go
like petals on the ground
like petals in the air
dandelions wishes have got caught in my hair
today
it rained for a minute but then
today
the sun came back
i cant wait till you call and i can
make you laugh
i hope i can always make u laugh
Bad Poem for Bad Sam
bad poem for bad sam
May 2 2006 at 12:43 PM sespy
a little stalker
action
looking at a picture of you eating icecream
checking your bands dates but i
dont think id have
the strength to go.
one little month
of my spring was most blooming
you into me
everything
everything
stunted
you slip away
left, i
look around erratically
my hair and skirt blowing
alone around me
you slipped away
under something
all your excuses
a bad sweater vest
it doesnt look good
i want your sounds and your mouth and your body
your smile
just makes me cry now
this is all i ever get
May 2 2006 at 12:43 PM sespy
a little stalker
action
looking at a picture of you eating icecream
checking your bands dates but i
dont think id have
the strength to go.
one little month
of my spring was most blooming
you into me
everything
everything
stunted
you slip away
left, i
look around erratically
my hair and skirt blowing
alone around me
you slipped away
under something
all your excuses
a bad sweater vest
it doesnt look good
i want your sounds and your mouth and your body
your smile
just makes me cry now
this is all i ever get
Well I Look How I Feel
well i look how i feel ( short one )
May 2 2006 at 12:45 PM sespy
sick sick dirty drunkard baby
sick dirty hair baby
drunkard
pie.
May 2 2006 at 12:45 PM sespy
sick sick dirty drunkard baby
sick dirty hair baby
drunkard
pie.
Beat Poem From My Text Message Outbox
beat poem from my text message out box
April 27 2006 at 10:19 AM sesp
hey.
will u
bad
at the library
make cool
i talk too
sorry
damn. try
back to the
ne time
paul feeley
can u look
haha
ill bring u
i was gonna
when r u
hmm
good call
in some
do u
one for u 2
i got a flag
oh my
coool can i
take some
no megan
at bowe
goodluck
yes sir
goin
rain is good
and ifd be
haha they
lol i was
yeah sara
scuse me
eat your
yo mas
tuesday is
i know time
walking home
i told u
no totally
yum free
might be
ok just let
no way baby
why
next year ?
okee well
when? its
i know
miss u. how
do senior
dont c u
haha shit
r u done ?
whats up
whats the
oh captain
April 27 2006 at 10:19 AM sesp
hey.
will u
bad
at the library
make cool
i talk too
sorry
damn. try
back to the
ne time
paul feeley
can u look
haha
ill bring u
i was gonna
when r u
hmm
good call
in some
do u
one for u 2
i got a flag
oh my
coool can i
take some
no megan
at bowe
goodluck
yes sir
goin
rain is good
and ifd be
haha they
lol i was
yeah sara
scuse me
eat your
yo mas
tuesday is
i know time
walking home
i told u
no totally
yum free
might be
ok just let
no way baby
why
next year ?
okee well
when? its
i know
miss u. how
do senior
dont c u
haha shit
r u done ?
whats up
whats the
oh captain
For S
for s
March 21 2006 at 9:02 AM s
rachel lays
sleeping next to me
as i click tiny mac keys
she sleeps in her black jacket
hood up
the weak gray light fighting
march drizzle
my shoulders still smile
from the secrets your lips whispered
i think they want to tell me
but cannot be bothered
with words
aching inside
i cut old wounds
new
to feel their new smile
im using black house paint
and a kitchen spatula
waiting is the hardest part
i looked at it, black with white corner
and just wanted to leave
it
its dangerous to be long
in my hands
March 21 2006 at 9:02 AM s
rachel lays
sleeping next to me
as i click tiny mac keys
she sleeps in her black jacket
hood up
the weak gray light fighting
march drizzle
my shoulders still smile
from the secrets your lips whispered
i think they want to tell me
but cannot be bothered
with words
aching inside
i cut old wounds
new
to feel their new smile
im using black house paint
and a kitchen spatula
waiting is the hardest part
i looked at it, black with white corner
and just wanted to leave
it
its dangerous to be long
in my hands
What You Can and Can't Put Into Boxes
what u can and cant put in boxes
March 21 2006 at 9:24 AM sespy one
i packed up all your boxes
random things your grandma gave
to us
and my dad scrubbed the syrup off the floor
we left
with you contained
in brown boxes
and only a hopeful half of me
in the picture frame
boxes of crap we never needed
u took away
left me with everything
but a reason
angry messages
and little samples of your childish handwriting
i could never throw away
envelopes addressed
to a haunting street i hate to pass
we once played hockey monopoly on the porch but now
its
empty
March 21 2006 at 9:24 AM sespy one
i packed up all your boxes
random things your grandma gave
to us
and my dad scrubbed the syrup off the floor
we left
with you contained
in brown boxes
and only a hopeful half of me
in the picture frame
boxes of crap we never needed
u took away
left me with everything
but a reason
angry messages
and little samples of your childish handwriting
i could never throw away
envelopes addressed
to a haunting street i hate to pass
we once played hockey monopoly on the porch but now
its
empty
Woo
espy
March 21 2006 at 9:16 AM s
the dark struggled
to bury the sun and trade it
for money
light said
hey
and made pancakes
the in between just snapped their fingers
and said
woo
on the sideline
the cold scratched its last fingers
across your back
and bit its lip
to keep from laughing
at the flowers
always so eager
dancing and stopping and so enjoying
the folly
they dont need to try to make up their minds
the inbetween snapped
and said woo
on the front porch
the dark ripped out all his old pages
and didnt recycle them
while the light just swayed
like a curtain
the cold brought you in
folded under my sheets
as i warmed your chest with my kisses
always so eager
the inbetween nibbled
on his fingernails
and absentmindedly smelled the grass
until the day the dark said
woo
March 21 2006 at 9:16 AM s
the dark struggled
to bury the sun and trade it
for money
light said
hey
and made pancakes
the in between just snapped their fingers
and said
woo
on the sideline
the cold scratched its last fingers
across your back
and bit its lip
to keep from laughing
at the flowers
always so eager
dancing and stopping and so enjoying
the folly
they dont need to try to make up their minds
the inbetween snapped
and said woo
on the front porch
the dark ripped out all his old pages
and didnt recycle them
while the light just swayed
like a curtain
the cold brought you in
folded under my sheets
as i warmed your chest with my kisses
always so eager
the inbetween nibbled
on his fingernails
and absentmindedly smelled the grass
until the day the dark said
woo
Basquiat
basquiat
March 26 2006 at 10:20 PM sesp
kings of leon
letting my paint dry
you might be calling me
tonight
but i left my phone
always
something, dropping pieces as i
burn
leaving a trail
March 26 2006 at 10:20 PM sesp
kings of leon
letting my paint dry
you might be calling me
tonight
but i left my phone
always
something, dropping pieces as i
burn
leaving a trail
First Kiss(es)
we swam in the sun
till the moon came out
and i saw it, like a surprise
a sweet little smile
hovering
we swam in the moon
warm wet kisses
that dripped all over
and way down
inside
till the moon came out
and i saw it, like a surprise
a sweet little smile
hovering
we swam in the moon
warm wet kisses
that dripped all over
and way down
inside
Row my Boat
you row my boat
and you know hope floats
some people dont call them bags-
they say totes
but you cant get into the castle!
theres moats!
baby it may be cold
grab coats
i fear that may be all she wrote
and you know hope floats
some people dont call them bags-
they say totes
but you cant get into the castle!
theres moats!
baby it may be cold
grab coats
i fear that may be all she wrote
A Brave Team
a brave team
August 22 2005 at 11:40 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a brave team.
laughter ripples the grass
crazily dancing like electric current
or sparkling fish scales
that zip under florescent
current that floated me down
the river
and put little cuts in my hands
i wear a dress called
wednesday
a new beginning
( struggle )
depending on how
you see
a new bridge with a view
new crown to sparkle and
hold back my hair
crazily dancing
spastic nerves in my feet
that bounce
ill wear a nervous wednesday
spattered with paint and blood
and dust
from when a thousand summers ago
fell winter
August 22 2005 at 11:40 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a brave team.
laughter ripples the grass
crazily dancing like electric current
or sparkling fish scales
that zip under florescent
current that floated me down
the river
and put little cuts in my hands
i wear a dress called
wednesday
a new beginning
( struggle )
depending on how
you see
a new bridge with a view
new crown to sparkle and
hold back my hair
crazily dancing
spastic nerves in my feet
that bounce
ill wear a nervous wednesday
spattered with paint and blood
and dust
from when a thousand summers ago
fell winter
Untitled
Untitled
August 22 2005 at 11:20 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my hummming
feels pure like
doves
softly buzzing in my throat
beating wings of hope
weaving in and out of the shadowy
trees
and insecurities
born in new colors
while i sleep
my cold legs hang idle
like the bony ice in my
cup
that rattles
i cant wait for the warm golden
morning
that will find me
ever sad
as i feel the old
growing
ivy tangles my feet
and drags along behind
whispering
August 22 2005 at 11:20 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my hummming
feels pure like
doves
softly buzzing in my throat
beating wings of hope
weaving in and out of the shadowy
trees
and insecurities
born in new colors
while i sleep
my cold legs hang idle
like the bony ice in my
cup
that rattles
i cant wait for the warm golden
morning
that will find me
ever sad
as i feel the old
growing
ivy tangles my feet
and drags along behind
whispering
Fall Poem
fall poem
September 18 2005 at 6:14 PM sesp
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
out near the mountains
without everyones ick
in my
air
the fiddles leap
enthusiasticly
under the
foolmoon
cutting through the night
like bugs
past the leaves
to our ears
near the river
the mountains
backlit with dying
light
bringing cooler mystery
as fall breezes
tease
September 18 2005 at 6:14 PM sesp
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
out near the mountains
without everyones ick
in my
air
the fiddles leap
enthusiasticly
under the
foolmoon
cutting through the night
like bugs
past the leaves
to our ears
near the river
the mountains
backlit with dying
light
bringing cooler mystery
as fall breezes
tease
For Freddie
for freddie
September 19 2005 at 8:11 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i will write
for your face and how
i only miss the memory of it
while i wait for the ice cream
to soften
how i only miss the me that felt you
like a handgun
powerful between my fingers
September 19 2005 at 8:11 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i will write
for your face and how
i only miss the memory of it
while i wait for the ice cream
to soften
how i only miss the me that felt you
like a handgun
powerful between my fingers
Winter Is Coming
Untitled
September 21 2005 at 6:29 PM Anonymous
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i thought i
could do it-
keep you hanging
timelessly
in a memory
but time has come
to collect
telling me hush
child
you are so silly
and the winter is coming
this
certainly will not
keep you warm
September 21 2005 at 6:29 PM Anonymous
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i thought i
could do it-
keep you hanging
timelessly
in a memory
but time has come
to collect
telling me hush
child
you are so silly
and the winter is coming
this
certainly will not
keep you warm
Short One
short one
September 21 2005 at 6:10 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i painted the wrong thing
black
ill paint it all black
you're not here to tell me
its depressing
September 21 2005 at 6:10 PM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i painted the wrong thing
black
ill paint it all black
you're not here to tell me
its depressing
Rhymes for Freddie
rhymes for freddie
September 23 2005 at 12:36 AM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the longest hours i waited
were for you to come through
the door in your pajamas
with a smile and heart so true
these days have passed more quickly
the suns not quite so bright
grey found a place to settle
but gets darker every night
i came across pictures today
even took one of your toes
i hate how sad your message is
take it from someone who knows
your eyes just must be duller
the moon cant seem as full
around around the tide it goes
continuously you pull
i wish i could say no
but its myself that asks
what the hell does love mean ?
can you override with facts ?
the answer will always clearly elude
i guess i shouldnt worry
but who knows how much time well have
it might go in a hurry
were both on borrowed time now
angels were looking out
and through some fate we met
we couldnt change the route
across the sea i sing to you
of course you cannot hear
but it seems my song will only grow
until one day again youre near
September 23 2005 at 12:36 AM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the longest hours i waited
were for you to come through
the door in your pajamas
with a smile and heart so true
these days have passed more quickly
the suns not quite so bright
grey found a place to settle
but gets darker every night
i came across pictures today
even took one of your toes
i hate how sad your message is
take it from someone who knows
your eyes just must be duller
the moon cant seem as full
around around the tide it goes
continuously you pull
i wish i could say no
but its myself that asks
what the hell does love mean ?
can you override with facts ?
the answer will always clearly elude
i guess i shouldnt worry
but who knows how much time well have
it might go in a hurry
were both on borrowed time now
angels were looking out
and through some fate we met
we couldnt change the route
across the sea i sing to you
of course you cannot hear
but it seems my song will only grow
until one day again youre near
Well It's Because
well its because
September 23 2005 at 1:09 AM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well its because my mom
used to say ready
freddie
when we were going
someplace
because your head smells like
my dads and even though
your second toe is longer
i dont think theyre gross
i even sortof like them.
but now i cant even remember your laugh
because i was raped when i was 14
and my mom had extra rage
its because i caught you
like a lightning bug
and didnt expect you to be there
waiting patiently in the jar
didnt feel like i deserved it.
i wouldve had an awesome
double italian last name
with 8 proud syllables
( hyphenated )
but now i only see your face when i sleep
and tonight i cant
well i guess its because i love you
and isnt that a shitty way to end ?
i feel so alone until
i hear you
buzzing around the porch light
uncertain
( but aching )
September 23 2005 at 1:09 AM sespy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well its because my mom
used to say ready
freddie
when we were going
someplace
because your head smells like
my dads and even though
your second toe is longer
i dont think theyre gross
i even sortof like them.
but now i cant even remember your laugh
because i was raped when i was 14
and my mom had extra rage
its because i caught you
like a lightning bug
and didnt expect you to be there
waiting patiently in the jar
didnt feel like i deserved it.
i wouldve had an awesome
double italian last name
with 8 proud syllables
( hyphenated )
but now i only see your face when i sleep
and tonight i cant
well i guess its because i love you
and isnt that a shitty way to end ?
i feel so alone until
i hear you
buzzing around the porch light
uncertain
( but aching )
Musical Bathroom
musical bathroom
September 23 2005 at 3:22 PM sespishort1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the paper yellowed
musical note books
to cover my tiny bathroom
in strips
but first i think i should
shower in it
September 23 2005 at 3:22 PM sespishort1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the paper yellowed
musical note books
to cover my tiny bathroom
in strips
but first i think i should
shower in it
This Friday (Today)
this friday ( today )
September 23 2005 at 3:20 PM ses p!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
superstition
i know you
even in a few seconds as i pass by
the overpriced cafe
thats just like all the other
ones. but gee thanks i sang it
for 3 blocks
3 blocks honey
never like that before
yeah so
i said good afternoon to the book
store guy. at 6.
i woke up late
mostly i suppose i was bleeding here, through
my fingertips
but it feels better after. without
weight. i guess my smile
always tries to be higher
but 2 girls missing
in a week ?
the sidewalk silence has an eerie blare
and uneven energy rings
with the
night bugs
the lights fading
makes me think of this
suppose im sorry that i slept so late
but unweary in the night
i huddled with my silly
worries. summer heat
the first day of fall
evening
September 23 2005 at 3:20 PM ses p!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
superstition
i know you
even in a few seconds as i pass by
the overpriced cafe
thats just like all the other
ones. but gee thanks i sang it
for 3 blocks
3 blocks honey
never like that before
yeah so
i said good afternoon to the book
store guy. at 6.
i woke up late
mostly i suppose i was bleeding here, through
my fingertips
but it feels better after. without
weight. i guess my smile
always tries to be higher
but 2 girls missing
in a week ?
the sidewalk silence has an eerie blare
and uneven energy rings
with the
night bugs
the lights fading
makes me think of this
suppose im sorry that i slept so late
but unweary in the night
i huddled with my silly
worries. summer heat
the first day of fall
evening
Oh Beautiful
oh beautiful
August 29 2005 at 11:18 PM sespy
oh beautiful
end song of summer
hallelujah
buckleys sweet voice
with innocent candle flame
dancing
like the bugs
tiny philosophes
that fill the trees
clouds brooding
over anxious stars
ready to break open
the coast
torn and wet
all my homework
notes
in neat little piles
clean clothes resting
in mismatched
chairs
sleeves crisply
aligned
whatdya think
beautiful buckley
i wouldnt know what to ask
August 29 2005 at 11:18 PM sespy
oh beautiful
end song of summer
hallelujah
buckleys sweet voice
with innocent candle flame
dancing
like the bugs
tiny philosophes
that fill the trees
clouds brooding
over anxious stars
ready to break open
the coast
torn and wet
all my homework
notes
in neat little piles
clean clothes resting
in mismatched
chairs
sleeves crisply
aligned
whatdya think
beautiful buckley
i wouldnt know what to ask
Never Even Had a Chance
never even had a chance
August 29 2005 at 6:08 PM sespy
postal service
district sleeps
will always remind
me of
your hips and blue eyes
bouncing
in the aisles at fye
it had been years
but i still made you blush
i wonder if i stuck with you
through the notes
through the other girls
i was the first.
here alone
thinking of you
and how i had the best times
when i was 14
we never even had a chance
August 29 2005 at 6:08 PM sespy
postal service
district sleeps
will always remind
me of
your hips and blue eyes
bouncing
in the aisles at fye
it had been years
but i still made you blush
i wonder if i stuck with you
through the notes
through the other girls
i was the first.
here alone
thinking of you
and how i had the best times
when i was 14
we never even had a chance
Moment
moment
August 28 2005 at 10:25 PM sespy
she smooths
his hair
doesn't know
when will be
the last time
holds his hand and
breathes in
his face just as bright
when she closes her eyes
because some nights
he fell asleep first
and she would glance over
between pages
because most days
he was the first and
last
thought
she smooths her hair
and walks quickly
out
in case he knows
shes shaking
August 28 2005 at 10:25 PM sespy
she smooths
his hair
doesn't know
when will be
the last time
holds his hand and
breathes in
his face just as bright
when she closes her eyes
because some nights
he fell asleep first
and she would glance over
between pages
because most days
he was the first and
last
thought
she smooths her hair
and walks quickly
out
in case he knows
shes shaking
My Skirt for a Sail
my skirt for a sail
August 28 2005 at 7:56 PM sespy
i fly out
the window
my skirt for a sail
so the stars and i can share
sad stories
whooshing over
little towns
like a dandelion seed
i could be an angel
except i feel as sad
as everyone
August 28 2005 at 7:56 PM sespy
i fly out
the window
my skirt for a sail
so the stars and i can share
sad stories
whooshing over
little towns
like a dandelion seed
i could be an angel
except i feel as sad
as everyone
My Deepest Part
August 28 2005 at 7:44 PM sespy
my deepest part:
all those times
their strong hands
took what they wanted
ignoring my innocence
all those times
mother
used unkind terms
(not daughter)
all the tricks
and laughter
melt me
when i look into your beautiful
eyes
can you see how mine are sad ?
everything i know
about myself
gets confused sometimes
with what ive been trained
to feel
like.
like my brown
could never deserve such
vast blue
insecurities suffocate
my wit
i falter before i step
trying hard to begin
perfectly
my body ravaged
of respect
washed a million times
still
covered in sin
that soaks through
to my deepest part
you could never want me
if you knew
my deepest part:
all those times
their strong hands
took what they wanted
ignoring my innocence
all those times
mother
used unkind terms
(not daughter)
all the tricks
and laughter
melt me
when i look into your beautiful
eyes
can you see how mine are sad ?
everything i know
about myself
gets confused sometimes
with what ive been trained
to feel
like.
like my brown
could never deserve such
vast blue
insecurities suffocate
my wit
i falter before i step
trying hard to begin
perfectly
my body ravaged
of respect
washed a million times
still
covered in sin
that soaks through
to my deepest part
you could never want me
if you knew
Today
today
August 22 2005 at 11:30 PM sespy
today i walked
to get some evening air
went to my old mailbox
( i have your credit card bill )
laughed with a girl who honked
while sneezing
today i cried
for my new guitar
ill be even more than you ever
loved
this isnt about you
August 22 2005 at 11:30 PM sespy
today i walked
to get some evening air
went to my old mailbox
( i have your credit card bill )
laughed with a girl who honked
while sneezing
today i cried
for my new guitar
ill be even more than you ever
loved
this isnt about you
With The World
with the world
August 12 2005 at 10:20 AM sespy
you said you gave all the love you had for the world
to me
but fuck the world
to you its rum and girls numbers
you kiss
but know before it will never sparkle
even stars die
after their billion years of glorious beaming
watching lovers love
and children that say bedtime prayers
must be agonizing
to feel the fizzle coming on
and know that they wont last
maybe they spiral crazily down
like when flies die
or maybe they just dissappear
we're both still here
you in me and me in you
trapped in a web we spun round each other
in the beginning to keep us safe
now it keeps us sadly hanging
like empty cocoons
the stars are watching
curious
waiting to again bump us together
or maybe planning to steal
one of us
away
thats what worries me
ill give your love back
and you give me mine
and we can share it
with the world
August 12 2005 at 10:20 AM sespy
you said you gave all the love you had for the world
to me
but fuck the world
to you its rum and girls numbers
you kiss
but know before it will never sparkle
even stars die
after their billion years of glorious beaming
watching lovers love
and children that say bedtime prayers
must be agonizing
to feel the fizzle coming on
and know that they wont last
maybe they spiral crazily down
like when flies die
or maybe they just dissappear
we're both still here
you in me and me in you
trapped in a web we spun round each other
in the beginning to keep us safe
now it keeps us sadly hanging
like empty cocoons
the stars are watching
curious
waiting to again bump us together
or maybe planning to steal
one of us
away
thats what worries me
ill give your love back
and you give me mine
and we can share it
with the world
I Run
i run
August 12 2005 at 10:12 AM Anonymous
ankles twisted round
fingers of fire
branches of ego
that block the sun
tortuous moonbeams
turning me to stone
with darkness
i run
August 12 2005 at 10:12 AM Anonymous
ankles twisted round
fingers of fire
branches of ego
that block the sun
tortuous moonbeams
turning me to stone
with darkness
i run
Jellyfish
jellyfish
August 12 2005 at 10:00 AM sespyOHYEAH
i breeze past
row houses and student
apartments
singing kings of leon in a
vintage dress
maybe ill find you typing quietly
at the library
like i did before
the day before the night before
the morning
where your sober eyes drew away from me
like i was made of splinters
darkness merges us
its 2 favorite softest things
and i find my old self
that believed in something
now im just getting things done
a cute robotic sister
tired of looking around and waiting
for something that surely must be coming
but cant be seen
munching on those old memories
beautiful and toxic
that burn my stomach
like your eyes that melt me
a thousand emotions at once
a tribunal of jellyfish
with stinging fingers
August 12 2005 at 10:00 AM sespyOHYEAH
i breeze past
row houses and student
apartments
singing kings of leon in a
vintage dress
maybe ill find you typing quietly
at the library
like i did before
the day before the night before
the morning
where your sober eyes drew away from me
like i was made of splinters
darkness merges us
its 2 favorite softest things
and i find my old self
that believed in something
now im just getting things done
a cute robotic sister
tired of looking around and waiting
for something that surely must be coming
but cant be seen
munching on those old memories
beautiful and toxic
that burn my stomach
like your eyes that melt me
a thousand emotions at once
a tribunal of jellyfish
with stinging fingers
Leaves and Sticks
leaves and sticks
July 20 2005 at 4:21 PM sespy
the ant is waving his arms up and down as fast as he
can anybody see
him ?
hes standing where the water is rushing its coming
fast i wave my arms but no one sees
me
hes screaming his loudest ant scream and its echoing
to absolutely no one
no one.
the water rushes toward me, hopelessly swimming out
to no one
and our bodies wash up with leaves
and sticks
July 20 2005 at 4:21 PM sespy
the ant is waving his arms up and down as fast as he
can anybody see
him ?
hes standing where the water is rushing its coming
fast i wave my arms but no one sees
me
hes screaming his loudest ant scream and its echoing
to absolutely no one
no one.
the water rushes toward me, hopelessly swimming out
to no one
and our bodies wash up with leaves
and sticks
Bed Like Africa
bed like africa
July 20 2005 at 4:15 PM sespyWHAT
tigers breathing
heaving
ribs in and out like ours
biting like you
fucker
biting me
ow
grasses waving
the wind
blows goodbye
goodbye self respect
hope
goodbye
take what you can get
biting
ow
sweating
its hot
dust and ashes
of fire
and all the dead
sweating and tangling
my hair
sticky
turns to ashes
falling
so easily
the tree is old
my heart is tired
it falls
settles
on the ground
to become food
the dust rises up
in the heat
and i am torn apart
to nothing
full in your belly
you saunter away
licking lips and
sharp teeth
for pieces of me
July 20 2005 at 4:15 PM sespyWHAT
tigers breathing
heaving
ribs in and out like ours
biting like you
fucker
biting me
ow
grasses waving
the wind
blows goodbye
goodbye self respect
hope
goodbye
take what you can get
biting
ow
sweating
its hot
dust and ashes
of fire
and all the dead
sweating and tangling
my hair
sticky
turns to ashes
falling
so easily
the tree is old
my heart is tired
it falls
settles
on the ground
to become food
the dust rises up
in the heat
and i am torn apart
to nothing
full in your belly
you saunter away
licking lips and
sharp teeth
for pieces of me
10 Seasons
10 seasons
July 20 2005 at 3:57 PM sespeeee
all the heat
traps all the crap in my car
cuz im melting
and i just cant clean it out
ive been lugging my suitcase around all summer.
thank goodness.
i wouldve for sure died here.
all the ghosts of us
haunt all the places i want to go
and poke me idly with their wretched fingers
every 5 minutes to make me think of
your smile
and the tears that washed it away
soon
the crunching of the leaves and sadness
of the falling
will hopefully heal me somehow
and maybe by winter i wont remember how
we snuggled in your coat
or drove recklessly through the ice
laughing
or maybe ill need 10 seasons
July 20 2005 at 3:57 PM sespeeee
all the heat
traps all the crap in my car
cuz im melting
and i just cant clean it out
ive been lugging my suitcase around all summer.
thank goodness.
i wouldve for sure died here.
all the ghosts of us
haunt all the places i want to go
and poke me idly with their wretched fingers
every 5 minutes to make me think of
your smile
and the tears that washed it away
soon
the crunching of the leaves and sadness
of the falling
will hopefully heal me somehow
and maybe by winter i wont remember how
we snuggled in your coat
or drove recklessly through the ice
laughing
or maybe ill need 10 seasons
Sugarplums
sugarplums
December 24 2004 at 12:32 AM sespy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
flying through the crisp
pre cristmas evening
(after seeming lost )
the city lights
reassured me and i was glad
for its electric arms
you wear it well
made me shake my fist
in excitement
thinking of you
( once again )
and your smooth
eyes and
true blue
smile.
honest in your silent
awe
enveloping me
cigarettes in bed
so sexy
just resting with a smile
when i get up to rearrange something
( i think is important )
just a gold heart
i cannot break
( but shine )
id love to watch
stupid cartoons
( with you in my arms )
hopes shooting dangerously
high
without a net
sugarplums dancing wildly
beneath my nappiness
i drive closer to home
and kitten
sickeningly yearning
and setting myself up
for another heartbreak
(just to keep my nights warm )
my little mess
blown to pieces
in an instant
by anyone that can fool me
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sandstar
such luxuries,
your hands have been
and soft looks so oft
from blue eyes like sky aloft
such banquets, your lips
to have let me feast upon
such softness as could slow me
and cause me look again
but still i shiver and look away
not feeling your strength, still
I. a faint willow blowing off
slow and silly in the evenings
pushing like tide
cursing come up again
counting shells
not being able
to choose
4/10/11
your hands have been
and soft looks so oft
from blue eyes like sky aloft
such banquets, your lips
to have let me feast upon
such softness as could slow me
and cause me look again
but still i shiver and look away
not feeling your strength, still
I. a faint willow blowing off
slow and silly in the evenings
pushing like tide
cursing come up again
counting shells
not being able
to choose
4/10/11
Friday, July 1, 2011
Why
why
June 30 2011 at 7:48 PM sespy
oh, love.
why are you so stubborn?
like a bad song thats stuck
in my head, or shadow
when he wants to clothesline people downtown
and pee on every blade of grass..
why are you so painful?
and hard to understand
like a bee sting on a warm afternoon
when everyone else is walking around barefoot
and they laugh at you and say
oh 'its just a stick'
why are you so sneaky?
hiding about like kids in closets
who are very good at hide n seek
hiding in my heart for so long
until i get another chance
and hurting all the more another time..
why are you so selfish?
and think you make the rules
like i am just a pauper
happy to tend your fields
and will say, hey, ho! gladly i will go
offer my service and loyalty to another
when you feel you want to re staff
love.
we need to have a meeting
i need a raise and BENEFITS
June 30 2011 at 7:48 PM sespy
oh, love.
why are you so stubborn?
like a bad song thats stuck
in my head, or shadow
when he wants to clothesline people downtown
and pee on every blade of grass..
why are you so painful?
and hard to understand
like a bee sting on a warm afternoon
when everyone else is walking around barefoot
and they laugh at you and say
oh 'its just a stick'
why are you so sneaky?
hiding about like kids in closets
who are very good at hide n seek
hiding in my heart for so long
until i get another chance
and hurting all the more another time..
why are you so selfish?
and think you make the rules
like i am just a pauper
happy to tend your fields
and will say, hey, ho! gladly i will go
offer my service and loyalty to another
when you feel you want to re staff
love.
we need to have a meeting
i need a raise and BENEFITS
I Love You
i love you
June 30 2011 at 6:00 PM sespy
so.
so much.
so greatly/ gently..
so powerfully,
like roots love a tree.
i love you madly,
sadly,
and with the greatest grin-
big enough to sip oceans.
i love you loudly,
and at your perfect decibel..
where no one can hear,
but everyone can see.
June 30 2011 at 6:00 PM sespy
so.
so much.
so greatly/ gently..
so powerfully,
like roots love a tree.
i love you madly,
sadly,
and with the greatest grin-
big enough to sip oceans.
i love you loudly,
and at your perfect decibel..
where no one can hear,
but everyone can see.
A Wish
a wish
June 30 2011 at 5:07 PM sespy
i wish we could have just loved
and loved and loved
every day bursting with it
watching the trees dance
and feeling your smile beam in my heart
i wish we could have just laughed
and laughed and laughed
and never cried
shaking blossoms down
as we shook the ground
i wish we could have just talked
and talked and talked
and never misunderstood
fearless poetics that went full moon
every night on your pillow
i wish we could have known
and still knew..
what the hell to do
to make a wish
come true
June 30 2011 at 5:07 PM sespy
i wish we could have just loved
and loved and loved
every day bursting with it
watching the trees dance
and feeling your smile beam in my heart
i wish we could have just laughed
and laughed and laughed
and never cried
shaking blossoms down
as we shook the ground
i wish we could have just talked
and talked and talked
and never misunderstood
fearless poetics that went full moon
every night on your pillow
i wish we could have known
and still knew..
what the hell to do
to make a wish
come true
X-Ray
x ray
June 30 2011 at 5:01 PM sespy
let us look inside
this little girl
too old to be little
to young to be broken
too broken to love..
what may we say
is the culprit?
causing the blood to move so slow
causing the eyes to look but not see
causing the mind to sabotage itself
like a bad machine..
what is making this ticking sound?
i see nothing of value here..
no meat in the chest
no meat in the belly
with all the scars
i think we might have to go in for another view
something is eluding us here
it may be a terminal case
that has no cure
sometimes its best to put an end
to the suffering
a murder of one.
may be things put in
we cant take out
maybe things that need to come out
that will stay, and stay, and stay
June 30 2011 at 5:01 PM sespy
let us look inside
this little girl
too old to be little
to young to be broken
too broken to love..
what may we say
is the culprit?
causing the blood to move so slow
causing the eyes to look but not see
causing the mind to sabotage itself
like a bad machine..
what is making this ticking sound?
i see nothing of value here..
no meat in the chest
no meat in the belly
with all the scars
i think we might have to go in for another view
something is eluding us here
it may be a terminal case
that has no cure
sometimes its best to put an end
to the suffering
a murder of one.
may be things put in
we cant take out
maybe things that need to come out
that will stay, and stay, and stay
Where
where
June 30 2011 at 4:48 PM sespy
where would i begin
to make things right?
which spot could i choose?
pure as a picnic
to scare away this mess
that has taken on my skin
shout at her and say
-do not!
get out of my shade!
lest you poison me
with your thirsty looks
and turn my hand into a blade..
was i ever worthy?
or have i fallen just into my mold
fat with the shame and disgust
i was fed like cows milk
white and pure
good for the skin and bones!
but only confusion grew strong
in me
and i was weak.
would i have turned around
before i met you?
scars have built up, long before this
making me so hard to get through to
daydreams and nightmares swirling about
like a dust storm
pulling at my skirt
saying no, you have never been worthy.
i left you with dignity and sadness
a furious lion courage of love
that no one could persuade me to hide
but you beat me back
and i hid my heart
turning into this darkness that has taken me
connect the dots of a broken heart
but where will it get you?
June 30 2011 at 4:48 PM sespy
where would i begin
to make things right?
which spot could i choose?
pure as a picnic
to scare away this mess
that has taken on my skin
shout at her and say
-do not!
get out of my shade!
lest you poison me
with your thirsty looks
and turn my hand into a blade..
was i ever worthy?
or have i fallen just into my mold
fat with the shame and disgust
i was fed like cows milk
white and pure
good for the skin and bones!
but only confusion grew strong
in me
and i was weak.
would i have turned around
before i met you?
scars have built up, long before this
making me so hard to get through to
daydreams and nightmares swirling about
like a dust storm
pulling at my skirt
saying no, you have never been worthy.
i left you with dignity and sadness
a furious lion courage of love
that no one could persuade me to hide
but you beat me back
and i hid my heart
turning into this darkness that has taken me
connect the dots of a broken heart
but where will it get you?
Journal of a Heartbeak
journal of a heartbreak
June 30 2011 at 4:20 PM sespy
day 1
the smoke is circling
but i saw the fire coming,
slowly slipping out my insides
to block the sun and sky
i hate my words.
my lips know nothing
they only lie
balls flying out of a pitching machine
at the speed you so prefer
i hate this face.
that doesnt reflect
its own darkness
eyes the color of earth
that cant see truth anywhere on it
how can i wander about like a ghost
but still get a suntan?
how can i become a monster on the quest of love
when i am hateful to love, its enemy?
how did i let my heart walk out during intermission
of the greatest show on earth
for a fuck and a handshake.
old romance,
a sea kissed captain
surly and alone in the white dark
old hope,
you witch with all the pretty dreams
shattered underfoot
June 30 2011 at 4:20 PM sespy
day 1
the smoke is circling
but i saw the fire coming,
slowly slipping out my insides
to block the sun and sky
i hate my words.
my lips know nothing
they only lie
balls flying out of a pitching machine
at the speed you so prefer
i hate this face.
that doesnt reflect
its own darkness
eyes the color of earth
that cant see truth anywhere on it
how can i wander about like a ghost
but still get a suntan?
how can i become a monster on the quest of love
when i am hateful to love, its enemy?
how did i let my heart walk out during intermission
of the greatest show on earth
for a fuck and a handshake.
old romance,
a sea kissed captain
surly and alone in the white dark
old hope,
you witch with all the pretty dreams
shattered underfoot
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